15 de agosto de 2013

Day 231 - The Man that Changed Existence: Bernard Poolman

15 de agosto de 2013
desteni technotutor techno tutorThe Greatest Man to have ever walked the Earth has died.

Bernard Poolman was decleared dead on August 11th 2013 at 2.50AM S.A Time - his heart stopped.

He would never claim to be "the Greatest Man to have walked the Earth" - in fact, he once told me in a moment we shared alone inside the car: "I am just a piece of dirt, talking dirt. Bernard does not exist".

The reality is that in a world where Absolute Self-Honesty, Commitment and Dedication to Life is simply nonexistent, Bernard - as the Living Human Expression of such - becomes, by definition, the Greatest Man to have walked the Earth. Forget about Buddha, forget about Lao... forget even Jesus: What Bernard has achieved in his last Life Time will echo till the end of Time. Everyone that has ever walked this Earth is dwarfed by his achievement - yet, if you read his writings and hear his recordings it is clear that his "only desire" is that We All go "Super Nova" and explode in an unconditional Expression of Equal Life - and thus join him in "his greatness". That was his Life commitment, and he died precisely doing so. (interviews explaining what happened will be online soon).
What makes Bernard the "Greatest Man to have walked the Earth" is simply one thing:The Principle that he stood for and as and Lived fully --> Equality and Oneness as All as Life. This is what I am calling "his achievement", this is the "greatness" point that he has established for himself and lived fully: THE PRINCIPLE. That is why "Bernard" did not exist -- only the Principle of Equality and Oneness as What is Best for All Life. That is why he was only "a piece of talking dirt": A Principle Based Living "piece of dirt".

I am one of the very few luckiest people that had the opportunity to meet this "Piece of Talking Earth".
I meet him on the 5th of April 2012. He and Esteni received me and Joana at the Kings Shaka Airport in Durban, S.A. It was a hot day. He was sitting down with Esteni having a coffee in the airport cafe outside, and when he saw us he got up and gave each of us a hug. Last time I was in his presence was on the day I left the farm, the 4th of May 2012. We hugged. I said to him "thank you so much for everything". In Humbleness he nodded his head and his last words to me were: "Make the Best".

When I read the first message that was sent to the group saying that Bernard had died I did not want to believe it. I felt the energy rush on my solar plexus right away. I was in denial, hopping it was a "test". At the same time it all seemed too real and therefore I was also in shock: I spoke to Leila (she lives on the Farm) on skype and she confirmed it. I felt like crying, and a few tears came down. It was clear to me that this would not change what we, Destonians, are doing as a group. If anything it actually has made me stronger: my resolve and commitment to this process is greater. Bernard's death to me is like the death of a Father: Now I am in this world alone with "his shoes to fill". His death revealed a void within me that only I can fill: He stood as the Living Example of Self-Honesty; The Living Example of Lived Self-Forgiveness -- in essence, the Living Example of LIFE. Now that he is gone it is clear to me that only I can become my own example of Self-Honesty; my own example of Lived Self-Forgiveness -- in essence, the Living Example of LIFE -- for MYSELF first, and thus everyone else. I realized that I have placed the responsibility for Change on Bernard, and now that he is dead I can see how it is up to me, first, to Change Myself: Stand within and as the Same Principle he stood for and as: What is Best for All Life as Equality and Oneness.

desteni technotutor techno tutorHis Death is his Ultimate Teaching to me. My world is not the same anymore: It is not the same because it seems like for the first time I can see that only I can walk my Process, only I can change myself, only I can establish my Self-Honesty. In a way, now that he is dead, these is a sense of "freedom" that has emerged within me: This only means that I recognize the responsibility I have toward myself to set myself free. I can see now how I was hopping he would do that for me -- now I see that it is Entirely up to me. 

I wish everyone in the world could have met him for at least one day -- poor guy, he would have to grow very old...
In one day he would change your world for ever - you would not be the same anymore: With words he would have you see and consider things that you had never before seen and considered, and within it he would help you come closer to the realization of Who You Really Are as Life. I spent 30 days in his presence, and for that I am one of the luckiest persons on this Earth.

When Bernard was talking directly to me about points relevant to Who I have become in separation of Life, it was as if he was looking into the "depths of my being": It was like he was inside me, knowing ALL of me, and with every single word he spoke he would "pierce my heart" with "arrows of awareness, self-honesty and common sense" to make me See what is real: What it is that I am doing to myself and how I can bring myself back to Reality. It was like looking into the Mirror of Truth. How many people, dead or alive, in this world could/can do this? No one else. So you see, what his daughter Cerise said about him could not be more exact: "Now he is dead, and the world is poorer for it."

Jesus's second coming came as Bernard: He took on himself the task of becoming Jesus's Living Message of Forgiveness, "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and "Investigate all things and keep what is good". He has done this to the ultimate degree, and within it he has changed Existence forever.

He has changed my Existence in an inconceivable way. Those who have been in his presence and received his support can adhere to this, as well as all of those that have dared themselves to hear his words and apply his message.

We, Destonians, are his Disciples.
Unfortunately this word ("disciples") has been misunderstood throughout the ages, and as a consequence all that we have ever had is "Jesus's believers". The so called "Jesus's disciples" were just "Jesus's believers": They believed in Jesus, but they did not have the Discipline to live his message, they did not in fact followed his footsteps and thus did not become Equal to Jesus.

Bernard is the only Disciple Jesus ever had - and we, Destonians, are his Disciples: We will walk on his footsteps, we will walk the same process he walked. He is dead but he lives in all of those that commit to risk everything to create a World Best for All -- in his words, "what is the point of this life if nothing of it continues after death?"

He is dead but all of him still continues as the Desteni Message and the Destonians.
He changed my existence - and every other Destonian's. Together we will change existence -- we will change this world. This process of change has been documented for years and it will still be documented, everyday, online, for all to see. We, Destonians, stand as The Solution as we become the Living Words of Equality and Oneness as Life, as Bernard was / as the words Bernard Lived / as the words spoken by Bernard.

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Bernard with the dogs, jeans, a warm shirt
he used often and leather boots
Bernard, the "piece of dirt", was a gentle man. He was always surrounded by dogs. He would care for the well-being of all at the farm. He was the one that went shopping for food. He would feed the dogs, give them water. He would always make sure that the big kettle always had water to prepare coffee. One day, when he arrived from shopping, he sat at the table outside to play a card game with a new French press coffemaker and said: "ahah, now we are ready". He loved his coffee, and he had the funniest practical jokes. One day my internet connection wasn't good on my laptop, so I sat with Bernard in his room for the group chat we were having. He would type slowly, using the middle finger of each hand. He wrote something, pressed enter and when he read it he realized there was a typo and he said "oh, fuck!" - and then in a manner of "letting go" he said "oh well" while shaking his head and hand. In the mornings he would come outside still in his white robe, with a cup of coffee in his hand and barefoot. He was always using either jeans or shorts if it was too hot. He would always use the same kind of shirt and he always used the same leather boots that seemed quite old -- he said to me: "these (boots) are the best. You buy them one time, and they last forever". 

He was always very consistent in his movement, whether he was walking, preparing coffee, putting wood in the fire, eating, opening and closing cupboards, petting the dogs... I used to spend a lot of time in the house where he slept (outside and inside) and many times he would look at me and say "What's up, Joao?" -- the only thing I wanted was that he started to speak, about anything and everything: "Tell me something that will support me" is what I used to think for myself -- and many times he did. I have quite a few recordings that I made with my phone, PC and voice recorder, and some will be shared soon for all to hear what he was like when he was not doing any specific interview. In one of the conversations we had alone he was telling me about certain events that took place in his life, and I started laughing, as I thought to myself "it is the same thing with me", and he said "yes, it is the same shit you have". Once he said to me "You are the Portuguese version of me, it's fascinating" - that was nice to hear that, because if he was able to transcend his limitation, I must also be able to do it -- and if I can do it, everyone can also do it. Many times I was the last person leaving the house where he slept, and I was fortunate to have had one on one conversations with him. 
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The main house of the Farm, viewed from my room

I always wished those conversations would last longer, but when it was 3am and I had to be up at 7am to care for the horses, I had to sleep... But if he had stayed up talking to me, I would have stayed up and listen to every word he had to say. It might not seem like it, but he could be very softly spoken, almost like whispering. I could hear him talk for hours. Some people cannot stand his voice (too much honesty in his words?) -- but to me his voice is like the sound of the smallest wave crashing into shore; it is like the birds singing in the morning; it is like the sweetest lullaby. Many times when I go to bed I put one of his interviews knowing I will fall asleep with him talking some sense into my dreams... He never told me to do anything, he never decided for me, he only ever made suggestions - but most of all he asked me questions: "Who are you, Joao?". Bernard would drive without a sit belt, and once he said "When it is your time to die, you die" -- as it turns out he never needed the sit belt... Once he placed his hand on my shoulder and said "breathe" - He had a soft touch. Slowly he started to massage and with his thumb he found a spot, pressed down and said: "This is the pain you are causing to the body" -- yes, it was very painful! 
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Oinky - The King Dog
One day after a card game, Oinky, the dog, jumped on top of the table, and from there he jumped to Bernard's lap and sat down - Bernard said: "I am a dog chair now".
This is the "piece of dirt" I will miss. This is the kind, caring, honest, joyful and playful "piece of dirt" that I will miss - and that saddens me. 

I joined the Desteni Open forum on January 2008 after having spent 4 months watching videos, reading the material and applying the tools. My first post on the forum was on the 9th of February, and the title was "To be honest, I do not know". Within it I expressed my uncertainty about Desteni: "Is it true? Or is it all a lie?". I wanted it to be true, but "how can I be sure?" At the same time, "how can this NOT be the truth? No one could conjure up this stuff". Everything made absolute sense - but the story behind it seemed unbelievable: "Is this real? Is this The History of the Universe? The History of mankind? Is this it?". I had already realized that whichever way we "got here", the only relevant point was the solution -- and by the time I made the post I had already been applying Self-Forgiveness for almost 6 months and I could clearly see the benefits. I could also NOT deny the obvious Common Sense message that was shared. But in my mind there was always a "but". Bernard answered to my post:

"lol 

you are facing the point all will face 

self honesty as life--or self dishonesty as I still want to--I am not sure--and various ways the mind test you 

In an illusion--self honesty will be presented by the mind as deception--because it does not fit in any pattern --it does not follow any rule 

to be oneness--by itself--is the mind--to be one and equal--the solution--thus-what is this one and equal and how do we live it practically 

we may suggest--but you have to live and find out who you really are

the process of self honesty requires no time--as it is simple 

we are either self honest as life as all as equal-- and that is who and what we live 

or we are self dishonest--thus trying to work out what self honesty would be 

in this--we have the breath to establish the self trust and self expression 

thus--do not change what you do--live what you do and in every breath--answer the living question--Am I self honest as ALL LIFE as EQUAL and THUS one 

should be fun--as this is not about right or wrong--but to focus on one point--equality and oneness--to stop all POLARITY 

as polarity is separation in manifested form 

Enjoy"


These are (some of) his last words to me on from a chat I had with him online on the 1st of August 2013:

Bernard Poolman: People either live directively facing consequence, or they live waiting for things to happen to them before they make decisions. You have to decide who you are in every breath at the cutting edge of time. That determines, through accumulation, who you will be and who you may become.
 Joao Jesus: the consequence being me changing -- making those decisions for real imply that I change for real
Bernard Poolman: Yes, that's one of it - but, also your world changing. When you change, your world change - will you make the same decisions once your world changes? When I look at a decisions, I incorporate all possible change to ensure that no matter what change: my decision will stand. There I look at it in self honesty =  that is the cutting-edge of time. Then I remain the same throughout all time, based on Principles.


The Best Gift I can give myself and the world is to become the example he was, so that I can grace myself and others with the same brutal and unconditional loving Self-Honesty that he was.

He changed Existence because he changed my Existence - and as I "become him" -- meaning, as I become the Same Living Principle of Equality and Oneness as Life as What is Best for all -- I will be able to support others with the same unconditional support he gave me.

The Life of the Father will be visited upon the children

These are the Lyrics of a song I wrote about Bernard, 24 hours after he died. The song is available as free download on EQAFE --CLICK HERE!!!

You might be gone
desteni technotutor techno tutorBut you're with me in every step I take
You might have passed on
But you're still with me in every bound I break

Thank you for your kindness
Thank you for your laughter
But most of all thank you
For your Liveliness

You showed me the way
To really love my fellow man
You showed me how
We are all just made of clay

I make your words my own
And your example my breath of Life
And I won't stop until Life is Rife

I am glad I met you
And lived by your side
To see what it means
To care for Life

We'll still be here
Showing others what you showed us
And together
We'll get past all fear

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