18 de junho de 2015

Discover How to End a Relationship fight in an Instant! - Day 255

18 de junho de 2015
"F**k you Ego!"

A couple of times this week I reacted to my partner and things escalated rather quickly. Yet, as quickly as they escalated, I took responsibility for it, I realised what was happening, and I gave direction to my myself and my communication to resolve the issue there and then.

I realised that I could either "play the ego game" and "feel like I was right" and hold onto the emotion of the reaction for longer -- or I could stop everything there and then. That is what I did, and that was also what she did. Together we spoke about the situation, saw the problem, saw the common sense solution and  that was it.

Intimate relationships are magnificent, yet, at times, there exists friction. If this friction is not solved (talked about and released) then the resentment will accumulate. Eventually there is so much "emotional garbage" that the whole thing explodes in a huge argument, bringing all the "past shit" into it to justify the point of "I am right, you are wrong. I am the victim, it is all your fault". This happened to me in a past relationship and I have seen friends going through this as well -- and millions of other people also go through it, according to soap operas...

These kinds of situations do not have to happen. If the individuals in the relationship truly care for each other and what they are building together, then it is possible to end the argument in one moment. All it takes is a mutual decision to say "fuck you ego!" (each say it to oneself) and not allow the emotion that is causing the friction to take over. Then the individuals can talk it over and come to a solution.

Trying to "be right" and prove the other "wrong" is no solution. Both must realise their own mistake and correct themselves. Both must assist each other to find the mistake and assist each other to correction. That is true love: When couples truly care for each other by helping each other to become better versions of themselves.

Easier said then done? Sure, it takes practice, but it is possible.

When will you start to say to yourself: "Fuck you ego!"?

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